Beautiful, Troy! I know a woman who's been married for many years to a guy she met in college. She swears she fell in love with him because he made her a cup of hot cocoa. I read your story and now I believe her.
I love how you lead us in, in, in, through the devastation of the first few scenes, the truths revealed and into the tenderhearted intimacy of the final scene. Deftly, sensitively, lovingly done, Troy. You allowed a vulnerability, risked it, and now we feel.
Thank you, Eleanor. In so many ways, I felt like I was on a bit of a tight rope with this topic. I wanted to be respectful, but also explore the deep loneliness and insecurity of that moment in time for her. I really fell in love with the characters by the end, and wanted to know where life took them from there.
Troy, I’m impressed, I feel as though you had a prompt that required a lot of sensitivity and you really did it justice, and some. It’s been a lot of fun to see everyone writing a little out of their usual zones. Really inspiring.
Thank for the read and the kind feedback. This prompt was a great challenge, but I felt I learned a lot about myself in the process. The real gift though has been reading all of these incredible stories. I'm so inspired, and that inspiration feels like a great jumping off point for the new year ahead. I hope you have a healthy, happy and safe New Year's Eve.
Well done, Troy. I imagine there was some vulnerability to writing this piece. From the tenderness to the fear, you stepped into it beautifully.
I especially like this line. “I knew there was nothing he could say, and I knew there was nothing I could say, so we sat in silence for a few minutes watching the world turn whiter.”
Oh, I loved that line too, because in the send some things are just out of our control.
Thank you for your kind words. I definitely felt a little exposed and unsure wading into the waters of sensuality and vulnerability. I was worried it might be off-putting, especially in light of what Ayame had been threatened with, but wanted to contrast the two experiences in a really challenging time. Sometimes we just need one solid thing to hold onto.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I really appreciate your kindness.
Thank you so much for reading it and melting into their world for a little while. I do hope the love shone through. It was such a dark time, and having someone to hold onto felt like everything.
Thank you, Meg! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you're crushing on Peter. Who doesn't love a brooding, sensitive, musician with Swiss Miss on hand for emergencies?! Thank you for the read and support. It means so much! What a great experience this whole project was.
Thank you, Mr. Troy! I appreciate your kind words. I was worried about the love scene being too much, but in the end it felt right. I hope you had a great New Year's Eve, and that this is an incredible year for you.
Thank you, Lor. So much of what you say above is absolutely true. I would add gender and sexuality to the list as well, which was one of the challenges I liked the most. Writing from a straight, female, Indian point of view was a fascinating challenge, but in the end we are all human and all experience suffering and otherness in some way. Thank you for reading this piece and for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you!
Really enjoyed this one, feel like I have been with her for a while. The dialogues stood out in their clarity, was never in doubt who spoke and in what tone....
Thank you, Bertus. I appreciate this note because I was a little insecure about the dialog. I prefer to stay more in the prose and narration, but there was a 3000 word limit and I needed to be more efficient and less verbose to achieve that goal. It was a great exercise for me.
Hah, I went over the word-count massively, it is now 4500 even after rigorous pruning. More would have killed the thing. I don't hink I ever did a writing thing with a similar leaning curve....
In the end, I think the project was about seeing the world through someone else eyes and that is what was most important. Word counts don't matter, and some of the best stories I've read so far have exceeded the count. I hope to read your's this weekend, and look forward to talking about it!
Thank you, Nathan. That's definitely one of my favorite lines as well, and really glad it spoke to you. I'm glad you could feel what these characters were experiencing. It was a challenging prompt for me, but I'm grateful for it. It pushed me to see the world through the eyes of someone very different from me, but also so very much the same. We all want to feel connected, safe, respected, and loved.
I love the way you broke through her resistance with pure understanding and warm, forgiving appreciation of her unique beauty. So hard to believe in that essential truth when you feel vulnerable. So great that he preservered to reach her core. Lovely. I almost cried.
Thank you, Jen! I'm so glad that you responded emotionally to this piece. I feel like most of us have experienced moments in our lives when we have felt our bodies are not what we want them to be. It's good to have someone reminds us that we are all beautiful in our own ways, inside and out.
I see now that we have many parallels in our stories, Troy. So nicely done. I really love the way you use elements of the campus setting and capture the way students feel and navigate this often strange and lonely experience mixed with over-the-top socialization.
I’m so glad to finally read this one. You’ve rendered these moments and relationships with beautiful sensitivity. Rather than repeat what others have already said better than I can, I’ll share three of my favorite lines: “held them both until their hearts could hold themselves up” (love the physicality to show something so seemingly intangible); “the words he used against me were the very things he felt about himself” (a brilliant psychological insight that will serve this young person well in life); and “In a world full of CK1, I had somehow found a guy who loved patchouli.” - which made me smile, a pitch-perfect characterization.
I love and appreciate this response, Julie! There are so many stories to be read, and I'm almost through them all. I'm grateful that you read this with such an open heart, and reflected back to me some of my favorite lines. This whole project has been such a joyful experience, and I'm so glad it's brought all of us together!
Troy, the story seemed very much in your comfort zone to me. Your compassion for others always comes through, and your attention to realistic dialog speaks to your screenwriting expertise!
You're the best, and could easily say the same for you. Thank you for these kind words, and your continued encouragement. Here's to making this world a kinder, more empathetic place!
Beautiful, Troy! I know a woman who's been married for many years to a guy she met in college. She swears she fell in love with him because he made her a cup of hot cocoa. I read your story and now I believe her.
I love that! Is there anything cocoa doesn’t make better! Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you’re wonderful.
I love how you lead us in, in, in, through the devastation of the first few scenes, the truths revealed and into the tenderhearted intimacy of the final scene. Deftly, sensitively, lovingly done, Troy. You allowed a vulnerability, risked it, and now we feel.
Thank you, Eleanor. In so many ways, I felt like I was on a bit of a tight rope with this topic. I wanted to be respectful, but also explore the deep loneliness and insecurity of that moment in time for her. I really fell in love with the characters by the end, and wanted to know where life took them from there.
Troy, I’m impressed, I feel as though you had a prompt that required a lot of sensitivity and you really did it justice, and some. It’s been a lot of fun to see everyone writing a little out of their usual zones. Really inspiring.
Thank for the read and the kind feedback. This prompt was a great challenge, but I felt I learned a lot about myself in the process. The real gift though has been reading all of these incredible stories. I'm so inspired, and that inspiration feels like a great jumping off point for the new year ahead. I hope you have a healthy, happy and safe New Year's Eve.
Well done, Troy. I imagine there was some vulnerability to writing this piece. From the tenderness to the fear, you stepped into it beautifully.
I especially like this line. “I knew there was nothing he could say, and I knew there was nothing I could say, so we sat in silence for a few minutes watching the world turn whiter.”
Oh, I loved that line too, because in the send some things are just out of our control.
Thank you for your kind words. I definitely felt a little exposed and unsure wading into the waters of sensuality and vulnerability. I was worried it might be off-putting, especially in light of what Ayame had been threatened with, but wanted to contrast the two experiences in a really challenging time. Sometimes we just need one solid thing to hold onto.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I really appreciate your kindness.
Good call out.
This could go on and on and on. There was a point, I wasn’t reading and was merely watching the moments unfold. What words? So loving.
Thank you so much for reading it and melting into their world for a little while. I do hope the love shone through. It was such a dark time, and having someone to hold onto felt like everything.
Yours is the last story I've read from the collection, Troy. And it is one of my favorites. 💜💜💜
So much to connect to and experience in this wonderfully rendered moment. Bravo!!
P.S. I have a serious crush on Peter now. 😍 And a bass player? Heck yeah. 😂
Thank you, Meg! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you're crushing on Peter. Who doesn't love a brooding, sensitive, musician with Swiss Miss on hand for emergencies?! Thank you for the read and support. It means so much! What a great experience this whole project was.
My heart broke for Ayami and Saanvi, and then it was healed - quite an emotional journey, and a love scene beautifully rendered, Troy - great job!
Thank you, Mr. Troy! I appreciate your kind words. I was worried about the love scene being too much, but in the end it felt right. I hope you had a great New Year's Eve, and that this is an incredible year for you.
Speaking as someone who has written a lot of love scenes, I gained a lot from reading yours. So well done.
So very cool of you to day! Now that I'm almost done with these 42 stories, I can't wait to dig in and read more of your stories.
Working from a prompt from someone’s personal life changing experience, quite a piece of homework.
Though fiction, I believe you have taken threads from your own tapestry of life.
Maybe even opened yourself, raw and exposed so we all can feel.
Well done.
And you added a few lessons to go around,
The circumference of life can take in a new face of strangers.
Shades of
skin
Heritage
Traditions
Where we are born
Who we choose to share our heart with.
Makes me want to scream
WE ARE ALL HUMAN
Alas nothing will change the partnership of hatred and stupidity.
Always beginning and ending in terrible consequences throughout history.
Hold fast to the people who are within the circle of strong boundaries that contain your life and love .
Love yourself
And never let anyone make you feel
“….less than”
Thank you Troy
Thank you, Lor. So much of what you say above is absolutely true. I would add gender and sexuality to the list as well, which was one of the challenges I liked the most. Writing from a straight, female, Indian point of view was a fascinating challenge, but in the end we are all human and all experience suffering and otherness in some way. Thank you for reading this piece and for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you!
Really enjoyed this one, feel like I have been with her for a while. The dialogues stood out in their clarity, was never in doubt who spoke and in what tone....
Thank you, Bertus. I appreciate this note because I was a little insecure about the dialog. I prefer to stay more in the prose and narration, but there was a 3000 word limit and I needed to be more efficient and less verbose to achieve that goal. It was a great exercise for me.
Hah, I went over the word-count massively, it is now 4500 even after rigorous pruning. More would have killed the thing. I don't hink I ever did a writing thing with a similar leaning curve....
In the end, I think the project was about seeing the world through someone else eyes and that is what was most important. Word counts don't matter, and some of the best stories I've read so far have exceeded the count. I hope to read your's this weekend, and look forward to talking about it!
I also blew through it. Rebels!
I'm so glad you both did! What would have been lost in both stories would have been a shame.
Really beautiful, Troy. I feel these characters as I read the story. Very powerful.
This line from the penultimate paragraph was perfect:
"...and for the next two hours he spoke to me in an ancient language where no words could suffice and no lie could ever exist."
Thank you, Nathan. That's definitely one of my favorite lines as well, and really glad it spoke to you. I'm glad you could feel what these characters were experiencing. It was a challenging prompt for me, but I'm grateful for it. It pushed me to see the world through the eyes of someone very different from me, but also so very much the same. We all want to feel connected, safe, respected, and loved.
I felt the same way when writing mine. Quite the challenge. But a good challenge ☺️
That was what jumped out for me too. Beautiful line/idea.
I love the way you broke through her resistance with pure understanding and warm, forgiving appreciation of her unique beauty. So hard to believe in that essential truth when you feel vulnerable. So great that he preservered to reach her core. Lovely. I almost cried.
Thank you, Jen! I'm so glad that you responded emotionally to this piece. I feel like most of us have experienced moments in our lives when we have felt our bodies are not what we want them to be. It's good to have someone reminds us that we are all beautiful in our own ways, inside and out.
There are a lot of great ways to speak the Ancient Language, but in “a sea of kindness” has to be near the top.
I see now that we have many parallels in our stories, Troy. So nicely done. I really love the way you use elements of the campus setting and capture the way students feel and navigate this often strange and lonely experience mixed with over-the-top socialization.
We really did! It was a challenging prompt, but I learned so much in the process and loved the experience.
I’m so glad to finally read this one. You’ve rendered these moments and relationships with beautiful sensitivity. Rather than repeat what others have already said better than I can, I’ll share three of my favorite lines: “held them both until their hearts could hold themselves up” (love the physicality to show something so seemingly intangible); “the words he used against me were the very things he felt about himself” (a brilliant psychological insight that will serve this young person well in life); and “In a world full of CK1, I had somehow found a guy who loved patchouli.” - which made me smile, a pitch-perfect characterization.
I love and appreciate this response, Julie! There are so many stories to be read, and I'm almost through them all. I'm grateful that you read this with such an open heart, and reflected back to me some of my favorite lines. This whole project has been such a joyful experience, and I'm so glad it's brought all of us together!
Wow. So romantic at the same it a cultural critique.
Thank you, Nancy. I was way out of my comfort zone here. I learned a lot about myself in the process, which is the real gift that story gave me.
Troy, the story seemed very much in your comfort zone to me. Your compassion for others always comes through, and your attention to realistic dialog speaks to your screenwriting expertise!
You're the best, and could easily say the same for you. Thank you for these kind words, and your continued encouragement. Here's to making this world a kinder, more empathetic place!
Amazing ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to read this one. It was a fun experiment to be a part of.