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Lor's avatar

I just walked in the door after spending the afternoon traveling by jeep, deep into the forest. To be part of the story of Autumn in Vermont. There is no other time of year where the season tells us the tale of the fragility of life. And so it begins~ every shade of golden, reds, purples and burgundy hues, against a brilliantly painted backdrop of a pale azure blue sky, highlighted by gray tinted cotton clouds forming all shapes of winged animals. The orchestration almost to perfection, I thought, as I stood silently in awe on the shores of a remote pond. As we drove away, the wind picked up from the north carrying my many colored leaves, only to land on the forest floor. The tale of September. Carefully balancing on a knife’s edge , nature in all its glory and a moment later, only a few leaves are holding fast to the dark bare branches, heralding in the next season. Like a dream, the height of magic dissolving behind me as we headed for home. September, when my mom told me she had cancer in her bones. For many years, I always return to this poem in times of loss. I keep a small pile of parchment paper, the poem neatly scrolled across each one. Waiting to be inserted in cards, to hopefully express to others, what my words cannot. For now, loss is only a thought that wraps tight around your heart. I also send hope. My dog Strider was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma a grapefruit size tumor on his leg. He taught us many lessons towards the end. We did not invade his body with chemo, as he was 13 years old. He was not in pain. And we marveled on his joy of living in the moment. ( I strive to be like my dog). He consumed vast quantities of our love and care on a daily basis . I know you will do the same. Happy and comfortable he was, for almost two years ! (The average life expectancy with chemo is 1-4 months). Until he told us it was time. From one dog family to another, sending love and a vast amount of hope.

“Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.”

~Robert Frost

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Troy Putney's avatar

Lor, this response is such a deep and appreciated gift. Thank you for sharing your heart, your loss, your love, and your support.

I’m so happy you had that trip into the woods today, it sounds glorious. The Vermont forests are some of my favorite cathedrals, and it sounds like you felt everything you needed to feel today. What a gift!

I don’t know how long we will have Bodhi, but we are going to spoil him (and the others) until we cannot anymore. I have faith he will tell us when he’s had enough. It will no doubt be before we are ready.

Thank you again for this note. It is beautiful.

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Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Lor, I was just about to quote those same lines of Robert Frost… as always I missed the slot!

Your words say all that can be said and of course - “Nothing good can stay” 💛

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Lor's avatar

We have a similar affinity to wonderful poetry. And this poem…

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Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Indeed we do… and that was meant to say gold! I have sticky figgy fingers from pruning one of our many trees.

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Christine Stephens Tretheway's avatar

These words are so powerful for me. My own Dad passed in the blossoming of this Spring, Summer was a blink, and now this season of change, Autumn, I spend each day with the blessing of my 16-yr-old German Shepard's final days...he is frail, but happy. He lays in the yard, with leaves falling around him, and the sweet smells wafting over him. He still enjoys his days, and I am here to just be his person.

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Troy Putney's avatar

I’m so sorry to hear about both your father and your boy. That’s a lot of grief in such a short period of time. I hope that you are surrounded by love and support and that your boy continues to enjoy his days and that beautiful smells that roll through. What a gift it is to share and honor these lives. Sending you a giant virtual hug.

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Christine Stephens Tretheway's avatar

Thank you...I agree it is a sacred gift to walk our loved ones home. Sending peace to you.

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Maia Duerr's avatar

what else is there to do but be humble and grateful students.... still though, the lessons can be heartbreaking. love to you, Troy.

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Brian Funke's avatar

A beautiful essay, and I’m very sad to hear this news…

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Brian. It is sad news, but it’s a part of the deal we make for unconditional love. I wouldn’t trade any of it.

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Alexandra Kyle's avatar

Beautiful, Troy 🍃🍁🍂

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, my friend!

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Megan Youngmee's avatar

aww. sending love and healing to your family, your doggy and you. You painted the switch of autumn beautifully and I felt nostalgic for Pennsylvania. Big hug

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Megan. Pennsylvania in Autumn is something to behold! I hope you are well.

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Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Troy, I wish only that these epiphanic days of early autumn remind you that Bodhi knows of your love and will carry that through the colours and the scents that are left to him into his next life like a precious treasure - I send you courage and a hug if needed.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Susie. We are showering him with love and he will leave this life knowing he was important and loved.

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David Donoghue's avatar

Beautiful and patient reflection in the cold hard light of life and a sudden smack of reality. Live every moment ❤️

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Troy Putney's avatar

Yes to living every moment and not taking them for granted. I hope you’re well, David!

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Donna McArthur's avatar

This is a beautiful, poignant reminder. Thank you Troy.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Donna. I never love this reminder, but it’s an important part of life.

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Holly Starley's avatar

Mmmm. That snap. Holding space for your tender heart, my friend. For your honoring.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Holly. Your kindness is always something I'm grateful for.

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Lor's avatar

We are never ever ready. It seems my experience and feelings of the day, were meant to be shared with you. How does that even happen…

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Troy Putney's avatar

I’m trying to question less and be grateful more!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Beautiful, sad, and yet bracingly clear-eyed and somehow encouraging. Thank you.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, Jonathan. There is a strange gift in being a caregiver. I intended to cherish it.

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Caroline's avatar

Autumn feels like religion to me.

I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you. 🤍

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Carrie's avatar

Troy, I am so very sorry. I hope this autumn is kind to all of you, and graces Bodhi with healing. I know he is surrounded by the most love and the most kindness. I’m always moved by your gorgeous writing. We send 🙏🏻 ❤️

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you for your kindness, Carrie. This was always the deal we signed up for, but it’s still a sad one to fulfill. He is surrounded with love and we will do our best to make every bit of time he has left special.

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Jonathan Foster's avatar

I'm sorry Troy. Lots of love and kind thoughts from the dog and I.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Thank you, my friend. Dogs make every path taken better.

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Jonathan Foster's avatar

🙏🏽❤️

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LeeAnn Pickrell's avatar

Truly autumn.

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Troy Putney's avatar

Truly.

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